I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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