I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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