I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Never underestimate the power of titties
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