He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
