I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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