I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize