It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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