She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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