absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
