You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
