does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
