You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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