So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize