glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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