just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
