You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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