Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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