We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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