We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
