Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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