he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it glows. i had to have it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
