How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
