please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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