She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize