yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
