he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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