If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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