I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
