Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
