No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
