Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
