We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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