Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
