i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
