ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think my vagina is haunted
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
