i just wanna soil my oats bro
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
We smell like vodka and hangover
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
