My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
don't judge my taste in strippers
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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