man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize