Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize