She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
