If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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