I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
