At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I smell stomach acid.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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