So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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