i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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