We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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