Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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