I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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