I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
