So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
