I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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