if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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