You're my little dorito
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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