just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
