They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
