Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
