I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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