Betty ford says i'm here all night
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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