marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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