im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I am available for nakedness
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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