I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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