He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Randomize
