My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
