I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
